1. |
Up on You
03:40
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2. |
Calm with the Danger
02:28
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3. |
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4. |
My Polars
03:40
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5. |
Sentio (For Lizzi)
02:25
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6. |
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No Stars Tonight
DADF#AD capo 2
—can’t find a star tonight
i’m too tired to look outside
my eyes are too red, my legs are buzzing
not even asleep, nightmare’s got no ending
—i try to move on, sometimes feel numb
hidden inside, too much, i must succumb
doesn’t feel real, don’t know how to feel
until i break down, i feel below the ground..
chorus:
where is the light of day
can’t find my way
there’s gotta be a way
i just wanna stay
—bones depleted stomach empty
my throat is dry, i’ve had plenty
i could float down off this building
the sun is pale, my life is wilting
—my feet are broken it’s all their fault
every step i take is another assault
the world is cracked and warped through my eyes
a vision of doubt, nothing’s true through these eyes
chorus:
where is the light of day
can’t find my way
there’s gotta be a way
i just wanna stay
—i can’t stop shaking
don’t know if i can, no more faking
sun’s too bright, i am blinded
don’t wanna fight, call me misguided
—the world is too harsh, i am frightened
hold me close, i feel your silence
don’t let me go, i’m afraid I’ll die here
don’t wanna fight, but i won’t die here
chorus:
where is the light of day
can’t find my way
there’s gotta be a way
i just wanna stay
“bridge”/coda/end
step a little closer
feel the wind lift my hair free
step a little closer
feel my balance roam free
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7. |
The Mirror Witch
03:37
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She wants me
to look in her eye
She wants me
to die
Look at me
my cunning eye
Look at me
it’s time to die
I look away
She scares me
I look away
She’ll find me
Alluring
She’s Comforting
Alluring
She’s lying
I have to check
The Mirror
Let me check
The Mirror
I seek her
Guidance
I seek her
Directions
She smiles
She’s got the devil in her eye
She smiles
She’s got the devil in her mind
It’s the only way
to be free
The scissors
See the blood run free
She said run
no one can be trusted
I’m confused
no one can be trusted?
Look at me
I’ll set you free
Look at me
Just hang yourself free
She wants me
to look in her eye
She wants me
to die
Look at me
my cunning eye
Look at me
it’s time to die
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8. |
Blue Fire
02:43
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Blue Fire (standard tuning, capo 5)
“why are you blue?” he asked me kindly
“i dunno,” i said “i dunno how to be free”
“the trees will guide me,
please don’t let me be,
sit next to me.”
“why are you sad?” he asked me kindly
“i dunno,” i said “i dunno how to be glad.”
“the sun on my head,
my mind’s been misled,
please hold my hand.”
chorus (instrumental)
“why are you blue? You know I love you!”
“i dunno, but I know that I love you, too!”
“sunlight keeps me warm
while in your arms
i’m safe from my storm.”
“why’s my mind like a deadly tiger?”
“i dunno,” he said, “but it’s a trained fighter!”
“you’re stronger than blue fire,
and born to inspire,
and one to admire.”
(outro)
finger picking
i am mine
he is his
we are ours
in the stars
i am fine, i’ll be just fine
he is fine, he’ll be just fine
we welcome our demons
on the road to freedom
because love conquers all.
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9. |
Twenty Seven
03:39
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twenty seven
DADGAD
here we are
i have come way too far.
twenty seven
it should have been eleven.
my eyes are a fuckin lie
my eyes are a fuckin lie
extract, erase
my tired mind is displaced
twenty seven
shoulda killed me at eleven
my eyes are a fuckin lie
my eyes are a fuckin lie
i’ll dig a hole
you’ve got no soul
twenty seven
shoulda killed you at eleven
my eyes are a fuckin lie
my eyes are a fuckin lie
heavy burden
i’ll gut you if i have to i’m determined
twenty seven
way too long to be livin’
with this..
my eyes are a fuckin lie
my eyes are a fuckin lie
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10. |
Three of Me
03:21
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DADGAD capo 3
how have i gone
from here to there
not aware
i wouldn’t dare
to ask why
the other me’s
inside of me
there’re three
chorus
the witch won’t allow me
to find my reality
she is just a part of me
depraved body inside of me
I am not alone
inside my head
oh god i dread
if i’ll be dead
sometimes
i’d rather die
than feel alive,
dissociative vibe.
chorus
the witch won’t allow me
to find my reality
she is just a part of me
depraved body inside of me
i do not know
what I am
who am I?
who’s are these eyes?
who am i?
young me am i
now me am i
mirror witch am i
outro: just vocals and underneath is garbled talk about mirror witch
what do you want x2
i want to tell you everything
everything that hurts inside
so you don’t x2
hurt anymore x2
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11. |
Unborn
03:33
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Unborn
CBCFAC
her soul unborn
never given
a chance to be free
locked inside a black hole
she’s dying
time warped
her mind
body torqued
hiding deeply
she holds the key
unleash her self
she’s dying
time warped
her mind
she is plagued by
demons to paralyze
poisoned by
no sign of freedom
she’s dying
time warped
her mind
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12. |
Split
04:02
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Split
visceral anguish
no one here is human
“she” keeps leading me
until i’m halfway ruined
there are no mirrors in faces
everyone is artificial
“they’ve” stolen my voice
“they” say it’s beneficial
chorus
i’m tricked i know i’m being tricked
thinking makes me smothered
my identity is being torn
split right down asunder
the other girl wants out
the witch wants to meet half way
my brain is exposed
“they’ll” alter my DNA
chorus
the alternate is here
trapped inside, i’m torn
a bouquet of roses
cutting me with jagged thorns
cognitive dissonance
is anyone here human?
“she” is trying to lead me astray
the mirror is halfway..
chorus
split right down deep in my brain
the mirror is halfway..
spit right down deep in my brain
the other won’t go away
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13. |
5 am
04:32
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turn the light out
lie in bed
slip into dreams
you’ll wish you were dead.
breathe in the smoke
stay high as a kite
may get lucky
dreams’ll put up a fight
it’s 5am
i can see the end
it’s 5am
i can’t pretend
my body’s a host
for nightmare demons
i cannot shake off
this terrible feelin’
if i fall asleep
will i wake up
in my own bed
or will i have flipped up?
it’s 5am
i can see the end
it’s 5am
i can’t pretend
This is not
my consciousness
i slipped into
a fucking mess
fly high to
fall hard
they broke my sternum
in two parts.
it’s 5am
i can see the end
it’s 5am
i can’t pretend
what’s in a dream
anyway?
make believe
or a memory
turn the lights out
lie in bed
slip into dreams
you’ll wish you were dead
it’s 5am
i can see the end
it’s 5am
i can’t pretend
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14. |
Opposite Reaction
04:50
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15. |
The Other Plane
04:34
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Dream in the water
Hide in the fire
Fall 4 feet under
Two more I may inquire
Chorus
I feel my heart flutter
I feel my throat stutter
Let my mind be clutter
I’m waiting for summer
Hold a snowflake
Watch it melt away
To breathe is to ache
The air is opaque
Chorus
I feel my heart flutter
I feel my throat stutter
Let my mind be clutter
I’m waiting for summer
Crimson liquid flowing
Consciousness floating
Bright lights ever glowing
My heart, never slowing
Chorus
I feel my heart flutter
I feel my throat stutter
Let my mind be clutter
I’m waiting for summer
Feed off my soul
Until my body’s cold
What are the we told
The lies will unfold
Chorus
I feel my heart flutter
I feel my throat stutter
Let my mind be clutter
I’m waiting for summer
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16. |
Empty Eyes (Dissociate)
03:58
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i am on top of the platform
it’s like sitting in a bad dream
i feel a tingling in my feet
my body’s an electric storm
reality is more real in a picture
i watch my body from the outside
battling the war on the inside
never ending torturous adventure
I have Empty Eyes..
I have Empty Eyes..
I have Empty Eyes..
Empty Eyes..
i must run away i can’t run away..
the train comes and i want to jump
feel the rush inside, i don’t jump
i step on board to my dismay
reality is more real in a picture
i watch my body from the outside
battling the war on the inside
never ending torturous adventure
I have Empty Eyes..
I have Empty Eyes..
I have Empty Eyes..
Empty Eyes..
i feel like the moving train is hovering
this train is going nowhere fast
is the past the present or the future the past?
there’re things my mind’s slowly uncovering
reality is more real in a picture
i watch my body from the outside
battling the war on the inside
never ending torturous adventure
I have Empty Eyes..
I have Empty Eyes..
I have Empty Eyes..
Empty Eyes..
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17. |
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Julia Haptonstahl Chicago, Illinois
I'm Julia. Music is one of my best outlets for healing.
"You were once wild here. Don't let them tame you." -Isadora
Duncan
My main inspirations are Ani DiFranco, Kaki King, my father, and my crazy life. :-)
I grew up dancing and playing music and making art. I became a professional dancer and during I kept up with music as much as I could. I am now a Pilates teacher and amateur photographer.
... more
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